JUST SO SIMPLE

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Sunday, August 12, 2007
. ♥ Am i Doing??!!
10:22 pm

Things seems good for me.. Got my understanding and supportive sistas n Buddy..
Now is i not feeling good about things ard me.. Will History repeat i dun know.. I really dun know..

Today went to pray my maternal grandpa @ Lim/Chua chu kang cemetry.. Hot.. Bloody Hot.. But i like cos i wear sleeveless.. Got tanned Abi.. I like..
My dad allow me to drive there.. then aft praying went my granny place.. Then i Drove my cousin Car to petrol kisok fro washing but too many car to wash so lft n went back.. I perfer Auto than Manual...lol..

I happy to see my granny getting well.. she regain her leg strength and health.. think of her days in hospital due to her stroke.. I feel sad n terrify.. Scare to lose her.. Everyday, Rainy or Sunny i will go and accompany her.. buy her food.. feed her.. Help her bath and go toliet for Business.. Evryday Wake up early like 7/8 aand slp at midnight.. Helping her do household chorse.. Hard but i feel is worth it.. I can't Everyweek not visit her once..

I have already a regret not accompnay my grandpa when he is alive.. I hope no more regret. Whenever i recall back my grandpa funneral and the sence he was at ICU with tube poke thru his neck for him to breath and the swollen hand and stomach.. I can't stop my tears falling down my cheek.. His death annivesary is coming.. I hate this date, becos is the day i lose him.. Saw him being burn to ash. left with bone.. Keeping him in my memories and heart.. I hate it.. VERY!!

I miss my grandpa.. GG lunar 7th month.. Does it mean he is back again.. =( *weep
I dun know what will happen if one day i lose her.. *touch wood I definately will break down.. MAybe i will be drunk everyday, smoke till i cough blood.. I dun know.. I dun wish this day will come.. * i cross my finger..

I willing to do anything to hold this bad things from happening... Even my lives...

This sadness is never comparable to losing someone i wanna to be...

Dun wan to blog liao.. wan go weep liao..